


Just a prank bro

by TNKT



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Collins' there for the show, Dad Hank basically, Fluff and Humor, Fowler is trying very hard to be a real captain, Gen, Good Dog Sumo (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, M/M, Prank Wars, Protective Upgraded Connor | RK900, RK Brothers, Reed is there to be collateral damage, Simon is a good bro, Sixty concedes that Simon is tolerable, Sixty is grumpy, Tina of course is a memester, also they're gay for each other but shhh that's a secret, and kind of a troll, and maybe even someone worth attempting friendship with, aren't you tired of being nice Connor, some hurt/comfort I guess but pretty minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23283724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TNKT/pseuds/TNKT
Summary: Sixty pranked Connor again. It's not appreciated and Nines decides it's time for payback. Connor pretends to be the responsible older brother but of course he ultimately agrees.Alternatively: Hank tries to wrangle his android sons while thwarting his dog's attempts at stealing his food.Alternatively: Simon calls Sixty out on his edgy bitch bullshit because he knows perfectly well he will suffer no consequences for it (read: Sixty is obviously whipped for him).
Relationships: Simon/CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41





	Just a prank bro

"He did _what?_ " growled Nines.

Connor wasn't too affected. "It's not the first time, Nines, come on. Besides, no one actually kicks me." Then he added in a mutter: "Except Detective Reed."

Nines' fist clenched on the table. "They're both asking for it, aren't they."

"I'm handling Detective Reed," stated Connor with just a little bit of pride in his voice. "I throw a packet of salt in his coffee for each kick he gave me. It's impressive how fast paper dissolves in hot drinks."

A smile tugged at the corners of Nines' stern mouth and he was visibly struggling between laughing and remaining angry. "What about Sixty?"

"I don't know yet," said Connor. "It's trickier. I want to get revenge but I don't want him to get too mad at me, you know how touchy he can be."

"I know what you mean, but it's not up to you to watch out for his feelings when he doesn't care at all about your own."

"Yes, but on the other hand, I wouldn't want our hard-earned and very delicate reconciliation ruined by a mere prank."

Nines thoughtfully said: "He wouldn't be mad at you if _I_ was the one to do it."

Connor lifted meaningful eyebrows and reasoned: "But then he'd be mad at you, and none of us want that. You're one of the only two who manage to have somewhat of a good influence on Sixty."

"Perhaps I'm tired of being a good influence, have you ever thought of that, Connor?" teased Nines. "And to be perfectly honest with you, my patience has reached its limits with him several times before. I'd like to get back at him for all the annoying needling he's put me through."

Connor wasn't convinced that this was a good idea, but he was undeniably curious. He leaned in closer and asked: "What are you thinking?"

Sixty peered up at Connor suspiciously. "Why would I ever come with you?"

"I thought it would be nice," cordially said Connor. "Many other people are going."

"Who do you mean by many other people?"

"Nines, Hank, Captain Fowler, Detective Collins, Officer Chen," listed Connor. "It's just a nice get-together that helps strengthen social bonds, humans have always done this kind of thing."

"And you'd invite me there even after I taped that sign to your back just this week?" insisted Sixty. "You do realize that doesn't sound innocuous at all? Unless you really are that disgustingly nice."

Connor smiled. "I guess I really am."

What Sixty didn't know was that as calm and responsible as he could be, Connor held absolutely no regret tricking the other RK800 like this. Compassion was just like patience in the sense that it had its limits, and that line had been crossed a long time ago. Additionnally, Sixty had a tendency to underestimate the android who had failed Amanda; he never should have allowed himself to, but emotions were quick to cloud his judgement and they were numerous when it came to his double.

So Sixty said: "If you keep being so naive, I'll end up doing much worse than taping signs to your back. You make it too easy."

Connor turned around. "I doubt you'd do anything as bad as you're making it sound."

Sixty's mouth twisted in annoyance as the other walked away, because he knew that Connor knew he was right. Sixty wanted to make Connor's life difficult and that was an objective he'd maintain; but he also needed Connor around and whole enough to be okay overall. Sixty's hands curled up into fists on his desk and he threw himself back into his work, hating his contradicting feelings more than ever.

The first platter of sausages had already been barbecued by the time Nines showed up with Connor. Sumo was drooling all over Hank's lap and Tina pulled a face as she handed the lieutenant a piece of paper towel cautiously held out between two fingers so he'd at least try to wipe some of the slodge away. Jeffrey laughed at her along with Ben and Hank until Sumo decided to go drool on his sandals, whereupon the captain frantically tried to pull a few chairs between him and the big dog while Tina guffawed in hers. Sixty showed up last and went to skulk in the shadows where Gavin was already laying. The detective had a splitting headache (read: hangover) and was in no mood to enjoy anyone's good time, but he'd still crashed the party because he'd heard Nines would be there- not that he'd told anyone. Literally no one had invited him. No one kicked him out, either, because that would've been awkward not to mention unprofessional. Sixty felt his lips curl down in distaste when he saw the human right there and promptly veered away to find a spot on the other side of the pool. He didn't go very far because that was the moment Nines decided to put his plan into action. 

It was a well-known fact that newer android models had been made waterproof so no one was alarmed when the RK900 pushed one of his predecessors in the pool totally not on purpose, but they were definitely surprised to see it happen and Sixty most of all. He'd heard another person walk up to him and he'd opted to ignore whoever it was until he felt a shove in his back and the world pitched around him. The last thing Sixty saw before going under was Nines' face and the upgraded model had the _gall_ to smile as Sixty tumbled head first into the pool, landing with a big enough splash that Gavin ended up with a faceful of chlorinated water. 

"What the fuck?!" sputtered the detective when he jolted upright.

Nines went to grab the human too and threw him in after Sixty for good measure.

"Nines!" bellowed Hank in his you-are-in-a-lot-of-trouble-young-man voice.

The RK900 stared expectantly at the surface without paying attention to him. When the RK800 finally managed to pull his water-laden body out of the pool thanks to the ladder, Nines said: "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there."

Connor hid his face in the fur of the big dog he'd been hugging. Tina's laughter sounded more like shrieks, Ben was chuckling, and their captain, who was supposed to be the responsible one here, tried and utterly failed not to smile while Gavin climbed out spitting a string of curses. Sixty looked around at the laughing faces around him and his own twisted into a snarl.

"Don't you _dare_ mock me!"

"No need to get so angry, Sixty, it was only a prank," Nines said.

"Just a prank bro!" screamed Tina, before devolving into fits of giggling all over again.

Sixty ragingly sought for a way to express his frustration and eventually grabbed a chair to throw it at Nines who easily deflected it. Gavin narrowly dodged the metal leg that would've conked him on the head had he been just a tiny bit slower to step away from the ladder, and it sunk to the bottom of the pool.

"Sixty!" roared Hank, and by then he'd reached the pair. "The two of you better stop this shit right now!"

" _He_ pushed me in the water!" Sixty yelled in protest.

" _You_ started it with that sign!" Nines retorted.

"Stop fighting!" exploded Hank.

Connor quickly stood up on the side when he saw that Hank was on the verge of rupturing a vein and confessed: "Sorry, it was my idea."

Hank turned on him and put his hands on his hips. "Oh, really, Connor? Fucking _really?_ "

"Not for Detective Reed," he hastily added.

"You're going to regret this," Sixty hissed at Connor, at the same time Gavin turned to Nines and said: "You're dead, tin can."

Nines just smiled.

"Wow," quipped Tina on the side. "Someone can't take a joke."

"Shut up!" simultaneously yelled both the android and the human.

"Seems like a fair trade to me," Ben intervened. "That kick me sign wasn't very nice either."

"Is my whole workforce comprised of grade schoolers?" muttered Jeffrey on the side as he focused on the grill. He'd decided Hank had this covered, and there were sausages to preferably avoid burning.

Sixty's fists tightened, his features constricted, and just as it looked like he was going to lash out again, he spun around and stomped away.

"Ey, get back here!" Hank called after him. "Sixty! The three of you are gonna talk this out like goddamn adults!"

"I don't have to answer to you!" Sixty yelled back, and then he slammed the door to the house behind him.

Tina let out a low whistle.

Gavin turned on her and snapped: "Will you fucking _stop?!_ "

Sixty took angry strides down the road, not really knowing where he was going or what he was supposed to do now. His clothes were soaked, his shoes squelched every time he took a step, and humiliation burned and licked at his pump. He should've known something was up when Connor had invited him so soon after the mishap with the sign and Gavin Reed. He was frustrated and ashamed and there was _no one_ he wanted to talk to about what had just happened. Sixty didn't _need_ comfort. His spine wasn't weak. He was stronger than those people who always found someone to complain to, a shoulder to cry on, complacent in their self-pity and encouraged by another's compassion. 

Despite that, he couldn't help but think about Simon. 

The PL600 was the only one who'd sometimes side with Sixty- Nines too, but he didn't count this time considering he'd helped Connor trick him. It was ridiculous but Sixty felt kind of betrayed by the RK900 for accomplishing Connor's idea of a prank, even though Sixty knew he'd been nothing but an annoyance to him and that Nines tolerated him mostly out of some kind of misplaced perception that all models inferior to his needed help or protection or whatever.

Sixty remembered Tina saying he couldn't take a joke and gritted his teeth. Well it wasn't like he could stop the stinging feeling in his chest from happening at all, and what was it to her? It was none of her business how Sixty chose to react to getting so easily tricked. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought it necessary to be more cautious around Connor and Nines. Yes, Connor had a more placid and soft-spoken behavior than Sixty, but that didn't mean he was less cunning. He'd been the deviant hunter after all. Just because he'd mellowed out now that he had his stupid "family" didn't make him a completely different person from the ruthless hunter he'd once been. Sixty's lips twisted in contempt at the thought of Connor and Nines happily hanging out with Hank and his slobbering dog. Yeah, right. As if that kind of joy would last. He didn't understand how they could be making such a thoughtless mistake.

< _PL600: Hello Sixty. Could you come over? I need help at the Garden._ >

Sixty frowned. This timing was suspicious.

< _RK800: Why would you need me, specifically, to help you?_ >

< _PL600: It's been a while since we've last talked and I thought we'd catch up._ >  
< _PL600: Unless you're busy? In which case I apologize for calling on you on such short notice._ >

A moment of hesitation.

< _RK800: Fine, I'll come help._ >

Sixty hurried to go change his clothes, not wanting to show up looking like he lived in a swamp and especially not in front of the leader. Simon tended to be pitying in the way he interacted with Sixty sometimes and the latter didn't want to give him any more reason for it. Sixty didn't dislike this side of Simon, however, not anymore; it was more of a background buzz than a truly irritating aspect of their relationship. It was in Simon's nature to care, not to mention that he'd always been one of the rare people willing to look past Sixty's abrasive nature.

When Sixty arrived at the Butterfly Garden and found Simon tending to some bushes, the first thing the blonde android said upon noticing him was: "New outfit?"

Sixty glanced down at himself, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. He hadn't thought it was so obvious since his waistcoat was just a bit darker than usual. He frowned at Simon and defensively said: "Do you have a problem with that?"

Simon returned to cutting the thin branches, completely unaffected by Sixty's tone. "I think lighter tones suit you better. Why did you change it?"

"Does it matter?" retorted Sixty annoyedly. "I thought you said you needed help, why aren't we talking about that instead?"

"Right," said Simon. He gestured towards the nearest wooden shack with the hand that was free of shears. "Go get your own pair, and if you don't want to dirty it you can leave your jacket inside."

Sixty opened his mouth to argue somehow, so used to having antagonistic interactions with mostly everyone at all times that he only belatedly realized that there was nothing to really argue about, and he felt stupid for reacting before thinking. He spun around and went to do what Simon had told him, feeling a bit agitated and irritated that he was complying to another person's orders; but he had no reason not to, and he'd come to help Simon willingly.

"Good," said Simon with an approving smile when he saw him return. "You should lose the jacket more often, it makes you look more relaxed."

Sixty rolled up his sleeves without answering and crouched a few feet away from the other android to start trimming the leaves. He opened and closed the shears on a single branch.

"No, not like that," Simon immediately said, and Sixty felt a burst of frustration.

"What?" he snapped.

Simon was taken aback this time and he frowned at him. "No need to get angry at me. If you're going to help then you have to do it right, and you're not doing it right, so let me explain what you're supposed to do."

"It's just cutting twigs," Sixty replied testily. "I don't think I need a tutorial for that."

"Sixty," Simon patiently said. "I know you're on edge but we can have a good time if you'll allow me to show you how to do this correctly, okay? Maybe it'll calm you down to set your mind to this activity, but I also care for the way these bushes are tended to, so please listen. I don't want us to get upset over something so stupid."

Sixty wanted to point out that if this was stupid there was no need to be so insistent about it, but he knew at this point he'd start sounding childish and he didn't want to be like that with Simon. So he took his shears away from the bush and sullenly said: "Then show me."

It turned out that the problem was that Sixty wasn't gentle enough which didn't really come as a surprise to him, and it was likely Simon had expected it too judging by how quick he'd been to intervene. Sixty had to admit with some reluctance that the small branches looked better off when he snipped them with the same smooth motion Simon used with his own shears. They'd been at it for a few minutes when Simon spoke up again.

"So, what's got you so snappy today?"

"I'm the same as usual," grumbled Sixty.

Simon let out a little laugh at that. "No, you're definitely not."

"How would you know?"

Simon set down the shears to face him. "Well, I'd like to pretend it's because I'm very good at reading people and notably you, but really it's because Nines told me you got angry earlier."

" _What?_ "

"We're in cahoots," Simon said with a teasing smile.

Sixty had not expected this and the humiliation returned at full force. What right did Nines think he had to tell anyone about that embarrassing incident, and especially to Simon of all people? "Why would he ever talk to you about that?"

"Well, he said you'd probably feel better if you had someone to talk to and it just so happens that you and I are friends." Simon looked a bit amused by the fact Nines had called him for help. "I don't think he'll apologize since he believes you deserved the prank in the first place, but you know how he is."

"Stupid," supplied Sixty with a touch of acerbity, though he knew that Simon was talking about how Nines tended to be much too concerned about his and Connor's well-being even when he was the one who'd compromised it. The truth was that Sixty didn't hate when Nines was nice to him, which made him all the more annoyed when he was reminded of it. And on top of that, it seemed Nines had caught on to Sixty's intention to keep a friendly relationship with Simon. The RK900 was too perceptive and his meddling was exasperating. Sixty didn't need his help and he was obviously doing fine on his own, so why couldn't Nines understand that?

"So, do you want to talk about it?" continued Simon, unfazed by Sixty's resentful tone. "They only pushed you in water and we both know that's not dangerous for you in any way. Why did it make you so angry? Is it because they were the ones to do it?"

"It could've been anyone and I still wouldn't have appreciated it."

"Yes, but I think it's pretty obvious your reaction was stronger because it was them."

Sixty narrowed his eyes at the bush and after a moment of deliberation on how bad of an idea it was to open up to Simon, he gave in and tossed his shears to the ground. "Connor invited me to their gathering."

Simon waited a bit, but when it was clear Sixty wasn't continuing, he said: "And?"

Embarrassment suddenly spiked and Sixty looked away. "I thought he was being pointlessly nice since he can be so naive sometimes. I thought maybe this was..." Sixty's annoyance towards himself grew as he gathered his thoughts. "I don't know, an attempt at befriending me? That maybe he'd taken a page out of Nines' book and was trying the overly kind psychological approach too. Which I found stupid, of course, and I told him so."

"But you still went because you didn't think he was tricking you," said Simon.

Sixty's head snapped up, a stinging retort already coiled at the tip of his tongue, but then he saw that Simon wasn't making fun of him. The other was just staring at him with an expression that was nothing but observant and encouraging.

"Yeah," Sixty muttered, and he looked away again. "It should've been obvious he was."

"Maybe you didn't see it because you wanted to believe he wasn't," Simon pointed out.

Sixty instantly recoiled from what he was implying and he snarled: "I'm not that desperate for company!"

Simon inched away because of his outburst, yet insisted: "But you are a bit lonely."

"No, I'm not," Sixty refuted. Now he felt angry at himself for making Simon put distance between them. He _knew_ Simon got easily scared by loud outbursts, why did he keep making that mistake?

"Sixty..." Simon paused and stared at his dirt-covered trousers with a pensive look on his face, and then he raised his face back to him. "I know we don't talk about this, but how many friends do you have besides me?"

Sixty stood up. "I don't see why that would matter. What do _you_ care?"

Simon did the same and Sixty suddenly disliked very much the fact that the PL600 was taller than him even if only by two inches. He'd stood up to get out of the conversation, because it would establish a distance between them; but Simon had pulled him back in just like that.

"I care because I think you ended up hurt by that prank, and the reason for it is your solitude."

"That's nonsense," Sixty bit out. "I'm fine the way I am."

"So much so that you felt wronged just because you were pranked by two of the few people that simply tolerate you on the daily?" questioned Simon. "You're the one who started this prank war, so really, you only have yourself to blame. You know that but you're still angry to have experienced retribution. I think you really want Connor to reach out to you despite everything you put him through, and I think you don't want Nines to go against you even if you provoke him all the time."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"I don't think you're fine the way you are," Simon kept on talking, infuriatingly earnest and calm in the face of Sixty's growing agitation. "And I don't think things can continue this way. I like you, Sixty, but you need to make an effort because you can't expect people to be nice to you just because you sort of hope that they'll be- and in Nines' case, that they'll _always_ be."

"You say that like it's easy," resentfully said Sixty.

"Being nicer to Connor would be a good start," Simon declared. "How hard can it be not to stick kick me signs to his back? And basic politeness wouldn't harm you."

Sixty crossed his arms and scowled at the ground.

A soft chuckle escaped Simon's lips. "A polite Sixty just wouldn't be the same, would it? Just start saying hello to people without aggravating them and we'll go from there."

Sixty considered this and looked back up. "I really can't prank Connor?"

"Not if it gets him kicked."

"But he makes it so easy."

Simon crossed his arms too, but in a more relaxed way, and a smile danced on his lips. "No kick me signs."

Sixty frowned and sullenly said: "Fine. I'll try."

"You don't seem too worried about Sixty storming off like that," Connor observed several districts away as Tina pushed Gavin in the water a fifth time. The score was 5-2. No one had asked him to but he was keeping track in case Tina won and he could let the whole precinct know.

"I'm not," said Nines. "I told Simon about it and I trust he can handle an angry Sixty."

Confused, Connor asked: "Why Simon?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"...No. I don't see what you're talking about."

Nine turned to him in surprise. "You really haven't noticed?"

Now Connor was getting a bit annoyed. "Noticed what?"

"Sixty likes Simon," Nines stated. "And it's reciprocal."

Connor didn't say anything for a good few seconds, and then he ventured: "Likes as in..."

"Yes."

Connor turned his head back to the front and gazed at Hank wrestling his hot dog away from Sumo.

"...Oh."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey pumpkin!
> 
> This is for the third and final prompt of the 1000 kudos special on [Good morning, Lieutenant](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452291): _60 getting upset at Connor and Nines because they pull a prank on him and Simon calms 60 down/walks them away so he can cool off. And Connor and Nines are like "...oh."_  
>  \- universallyatrest (Blackrain707 on this platform).
> 
> It was very interesting trying my hand at a ship I hadn't yet written! And of course as soon as Black told me about pranks, I immediately thought of that [Prankster Androids post](https://lost-tanuki.tumblr.com/post/185731549848/dbh-headcanon-prankster-androids) I'd written a while back. As a result, it wasn't too difficult to choose the prank in question I'd write about.  
> I hope you liked my take on Simon and Sixty's relationship here, and my attempts at humor. It's refreshing to change up writing styles from time to time.
> 
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!
> 
> First 1000 kudos prompt: [RK1K hurt/comfort](https://lost-tanuki-tales.tumblr.com/post/612135663555493888/prompt-fill-dbh-for-the-1000-kudos)  
> Second 1000 kudos prompt: [Reed getting his ass beat by RK900 post-Bad Ending](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23186257)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Come by and say hi on [Tumblr](https://lost-tanuki.tumblr.com/post/184765301043/dbh-fics) (link to my DBH fic masterlist), and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/losttanuki)!
> 
> I also have a Discord server called the Pumpkin Patch server, you can pm me on Tumblr/Twitter to join. I'm looking forward to seeing you there!


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